Monday, June 19, 2006

father's day

Last night we went out for dinner at Lupe Tortilla's which we like because a) food is yummy and b) they have a big sand area for the kids to play in. Spencer always says he's excited to play in the sand, but once we arrive he gets a little heistant once he feels the sand in his toes. After several minutes, he finally felt brave enough to wander in and play a little. Jim didn't exactly see what went down after that, but he saw Spencer's lower lip start to quiver and then suddenly Spencer was hysterical. It seems he put himself out there looking for a friend to play with and got rejected. We gave Spencer hugs while his whole body heaved and he sobbed repeatedly, "the little boy said 'no!' the little boy said 'no!'" My heart just ached for Spencer. Tears were flowing down his cheeks and he was so, so upset. We kept on giving hugs and telling him everything was ok, but seeing how devasted he was by this rejection (even if it hadn't been mean-spirited) was so crushing as a parent. My mind fast-forwarded a decade or so to a time when Spencer might face rejection from a girl he liked and wondered how I would be able to comfort him then. Last night he cried for nearly ten minutes over this incident, despite all of our assurances that he was all right. It really upset him to the core. Do kids learn to 'toughen up' or is this just an age-appropriate reaction? I guess rejection sucks at all ages.

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