delayed gratification

Tonight at dinner Spencer was dipping veggies into some dressing and he informed me, "I didn't use any dressing on that last bite so I would have more left for those later." And I was filled with so many emotions, not sure exactly what they all were. It made me a little happy, a little proud, a little content, and a little at peace. All for a seemingly silly comment from a toddler. It just seemed so 'mature' for this little guy to be thinking these thoughts and see a small glimpse of some day graduating from "everything! me! now!" And a part of me projected far into his future and it felt good to think that being able to exert self-control and being able to delay gratification will serve him well in life. Then I laughed at myself for reading so much in to it.

do we really talk like this?

Tonight it struck me as funny hearing myself tell Spencer "you need to wear underwear if you want to help me cook dinner." But, as usual, he managed to take the prize(s) for unique utterances for the night by blurting out "awesome mommy!" in praise of our meal. Then while getting ready for bed he informed me "there are FOUR O's in 'poo poo!'" And as I was saying goodnight he stared back at me and declared "your hair is REALLY BIG!"

nerdy spencer

Of course, that is meant in an endearing way. Last weekend Spencer and I checked out the Frog exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural Science and it was as cool and impressive as I had hoped it would be. But, almost better than that, was the fact that there was a big event going on for GEMS and there were exhibit tables set up throughout the length of the museum lobby educating kids about different sciences. Quite a few interested Spencer, but the Robotics Academy captivated him for more than half an hour. Their 4'x6' table displayed legos with servos, and Spencer was fascinated. He has played with remote controlled cars at home, and only seems to drive them in circles or straight into the wall. But at the museum as I watched him control an 'excavator,' requiring two separate levers, without a false step. I was stunned. Spencer was hooked. Pics from our visit (and photo albums from the past three months) have been added on the right.

Deep Thoughts, by Spencer Leach

After tucking him in bed in the darkness, Spencer inhaled deeply through his nose and informed me "if you stick two fingers in your nose you can not do that. you can not breathe through your nose if you stick two fingers in it. that's why you should only stick one finger in your nose."

swimming class

We signed Spencer up for swimming classes to get ready for summer. Now he's old enough to take the classes without mommy or daddy in the water. Man, oh man, it hasn't been pretty. Jim and my mom have taken turns bringing him, and neither came home with good reports. Including horsing around to the point he fell underwater and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. That experience of watching him in class was so bad it ruined Jim's mood for the rest of the evening through hockey, which is tough to do. I was so nervous going for my first class with him last night that it would be too frustrating. Sticking to the 80/20 rule of expecting good behavior from a toddler, I think we hit that mark ok. He certainly wasn't the shining pupil, but with the promise of a chocolate brownie as a treat after dinner, he did well. I don't like having to resort to bribery, but I feel that happens more often since Spencer has become a toddler.

valentines messages

To get ready for the Valentine's Day celebration at Spencer's school, we were asked to send in enough signed valentines for each friend in the class, plus some stickers to be used for a project. I found some fun puffy stickers in the $1 spot at Target - a bunch of different cute and colorful drawings of animals with hearts. Jim and Spencer were looking over them together and talking about the different stickers. "This one says puppy love," Jim told him. Spencer scanned across the row to another animal and announced "and this one says monkey love!"

Pluto

Last January Spencer learned about the solar system at school, and shortly after that came the stunning announcement that Pluto was no longer considered a planet. We decided not to share this news with Spencer. And I was secretly hoping that before the subject rolled around again at school this year that perhaps the scientific community would reverse their decision. We know that has not happened, and yesterday Spencer proudly brought home a solar system mobile - sans Pluto! We put it next to the solar system project from last year, but so far he hasn't commented on its absence. I'm still hoping that Pluto might be re-elevated and right things in Spencer's world because I doubt he will be as amused by the new word Plutoed as the rest of us.

"our bed"

Spencer doesn't sleep with us. He never has. But in the past few months, post transition to the toddler bed, he nows comes into our room when he wakes up during the night. And he complains of having a bad dream and then announces, "I just want to sleep here in our bed." Um, no Spencer. This is OUR bed. The first time we heard it at 3:00am Jim and I cracked up, but it is not so funny any more.

he's not two any more

This morning Spencer sweetly came in to wake me up as he does most mornings, but today he had some pretty bad breath. We love our babies through all of the perfunctory nastiness like poop and boogers, and I did manage to smile back when he said "good morning, i love you" just two inches from my nose. But man, it did not smell good. (Let me go on record, which I feel I need to after my earlier post, and say that brushing teeth every morning and evening is not something we have relaxed on.) I'm told we're just a few years a way from truly stinky sports gear too. Sigh. I think some of his baby cute-ness is starting to lose an edge.

letting go

I remember having a conversation with a co-worker last year about our kids. At the time, Spencer was two, and her boys were three and one. She was saying how things seemed easier the second time around, but mostly because she was much more relaxed. "You know, as long as they get baths every couple of days it's all good." I thought smugly to myself "my son gets a bath EVERY day." Well, now that Spencer and I are both older and wiser, I too know that the world doesn't crumble if Spencer doesn't get a bath every day. We got home late after temple Friday night and skipped bath, then skipped again on Saturday because we stayed out late for a play date and dinner with friends. Last night I finally got a chance to scrub him up good, wash his hair, swab the gunk out of his ears, etc. and it made me happy to have a clean, good-smelling child to tuck in to bed. But, I no longer worry if that doesn't happen every day.

Good Friday

Today was a good day for Spencer and me. After inviting an old Rice friend to meet us for dinner before Shabbat services this evening, she reversed the invitation and we joined her plans to meet up with four other moms who each had their own three year olds. I was initially embarrassed inside the restaurant as Spencer turned screechy and clingy and kept whining that he wanted to eat while sitting on my lap. What??? When has my child ever sat on my lap to eat a meal? Why would that thought occur to him? I know I shouldn't care so much, but I couldn't help but feel we were making an awful first impression. By the time we finished eating and wandered over to TCBY, he had made fast friends. The kiddos were all really well behaved at temple, I can't help but think that we all dodged a bullet by filling them up with sugar beforehand.

Happy 2007

I should just re-title this blog a monthly update, because that is all I seem to manage any more. I do think about blogging almost every day, wanting to share Spencer's antics and accomplishments (like reciting the blessings for the hanukkah candles!) In the last month he has gone ice skating and bowling twice, and even used the potty at a friend's house without announcing it until the fact. He has become intrigued with the concept of rhymes and after a few stumbled attempts like "puppy dog" rhymes with "uppy dog!" he did get the hang of using actual words, but it's been a fun road.

And then there are the many, many things I don't blog about. How life with Spencer can be unbelievably frustrating. That when we think he is playing nicely with a game and we find out he has jumped on its box and mangled the corners. Or snapping his sunglass stems off the frame for the umpteenth time. And we always make him ride home complaining and squinting into the sun before repairing them for our next ride, but the consequences don't sink in. Or letting chewed food fall out of his mouth at the dinner table while he laughs. Grrr. But reading this post made me feel much better that even on my bad days I'm not alone.

out of the mouth of toddlers

In the (yeah, I know) month since the last post, Spencer turned the big three! He counted down to the big day for weeks, and could not have been more pleased when the big celebration arrived! Now he walks around with a puffed up chest telling us he's a big boy.

The week before his birthday we celebrated Thanksgiving (with mom! not sure when we last were together for this holiday) here in Houston at Katie's house. Spencer was delighted to get to play with Henry's toys, and we enjoyed meeting Heidi's new baby, Milo, and also *finally* getting to spend time with Kim while she was back in the US.

Recently Spencer has just been cracking me up. His little brain is always whirling away and his crazy thoughts just come tumbling out of his mouth. Some of my favorites from this past week include:

"It's ok, I'm just licking the toothpaste now."
"Did you know that the bare necessities will come to you?"
"I'm just gonna hold my present and move some other presents over there."
"Oranges are usually living."
"I finished all of my food, now you can see my muscles!"
"I have a good idea: first I'll go potty, and then we'll watch a video. that's my idea."
"Actually, spitting is not a good idea."
"No, I'm not dancing, I'm just pretending to dance."
"When I become a man, I'm gonna get a cherry picker.

the parent-teacher conference

Yesterday Jim and I had about 15 dedicated minutes to sit down and talk with Spencer's teacher. And it seems that we have two different Spencers to deal with. At school, Spencer is very attentive and well behaved (albeit a bit loud, she did add) but still struggles with potty training. At home, Spencer has even started using the potty without feeling compelled to tell us, but has been misbehaving a lot, and even announces "doing naughty things makes me happy." Hmm. At the end of the meeting we determined that more of a reward system needs to be put in place for both potty and good behavior. And, possibly some of the acting up at home may be due to boredom, so we need to figure out how to keep him more challenged. Sure, it all makes sense...

But later that night I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I am Spencer's constant buddy, and recently the additional trips he's been taking to time out might have more to do with me than him. It just made me want to cry. More challenges? More challenges? I feel like I am constantly keeping him engaged. (Heck, I'm exhausted most of the time!) Maybe our playtime activties need to be updated. As for the bad behavior, Jim and I immediately put suggestions into actions this evening, and had some successes. It all makes sense in our heads, but it is also easy to not see when we are sending inconsistent messages. Parenting is tough work.

Happy Halloween!

I really enjoy Halloween, and October. Probably because growing up in NY it was the most awesome month of weather. Now, with Spencer, I love that he gets so excited about seeing pumpkins. When we spied the first few at the beginning of the month I explained "it's pumpkin time!" In the past 30 days we have been to many pumpkin patches, in TX and NY, and he got his first taste of apple cider this year! Tonight was his first time trick-or-treating and he had such a blast! After a couple of houses he was hooked! Here are Halloween pictures from tonight, and other halloween activies from the past few days, including making his costume, carving pumpkins, and working on an entry for a halloween dessert contest at work! (I won!) I have added more photo album links on the right with pictures from the past couple of weeks.

the classics

During our annual October trip to NY we drove all around listening to a CD of classical music for kids. And Spencer LOVES it!

Back to potty training... this is frustrating. I don't understand how Spencer can be accident-free for a few weeks in a row and then have four in two days. Maybe it's time to set up some type of rewards & stickers or something. Or put a big goal out there for him to achieve if he can stay accident-free. I dunno...

choosing to be happy

The central theme of our Rabbi's sermon at Rosh Hashana services the other week was that happiness is something we can choose. Spencer's been a bit more of a handful in the past couple weeks, so I thought I'd give it a try. So far, so good. Now, he decides if he is still sad and wants to cry a little more, and when he finishes he announces "I'm ready to be happy now!" and then he is. I'm not holding my breath that this will last, but I thought it was neat to have learned a parenting trick at temple.

thinking

Today I discovered another mommy blogger who writes some pretty funny stuff. That, and her triplets are pretty darn cute too. It got me thinking how incredible lame this blog has become. Yeah, she's and English major and I'm an engineer, so it makes it a little harder to measure up, but I found myself laughing at her thoughts. And then it hit me: I don't have time to think any more! Sure, I use my brain a lot but it's almost exclusively for planning things - 99% of which are for Spencer's benefit. I used to blog about my thoughts... but now I barely have time to keep a record of activities, which are not nearly as interesting to read: went here, saw this friend, spencer got a boo boo, etc. Before I had Spencer, I remember reading a friend blog that I thought was pretty lame, because all it did was talk about what she did with her kids! And now I fear, sadly, that this is exactly what my blog has become.

With that said, here are some thoughts. I love being Spencer's mom, but there is plenty I don't enjoy about these toddler years. It is awesome when he spontaneously announces "I really like you!" and not so awesome to constantly think "when was the last time he used the potty?"

back

Another work trip in the books, and Spencer and Jim had a fun week together. It's great having an older toddler who can enjoy talking on the phone. It really makes the whole day better to hear his little voice when I am far away.

Knock on wood, he is still enjoying his big boy bed. We asked if he shared the news with his friends and teachers at school and of course he told us that he had! When we asked "what did they say?" he replied "they said, 'you sleep in a big boy bed now! Spencer, that is excellent!'" And he just beamed from ear to ear!

big boy bed

This weekend we *finally* made the move. After talking it up for a while now, Spencer transitioned from his crib to his very own twin bed. I took him to the store to pick up sheets and waterproof mattress pads and rails to prevent him from rolling out. The first nap didn't go that well - no crying, but he was more content to hang out in his chair than in his bed. Evening was fairly painless - of course it didn't hurt that we were out a little later, plus he had skipped his nap! Around 9:15pm last night, after being asleep for nearly two hours, Spencer emerged from the hallway clutching a book and a blanket and his puppy. I was sitting on the couch watching tv as he shuffled past me; his eyes all squinty as he said "mommy, you need to turn off the light, it's too bright here." Um, Spencer... you need to go back to sleep. It's night time. "No mommy, I already slept. Now it's time to play." Jim and I tried so hard to keep from laughing out loud. But Spencer knew he was still tired and didn't fight it when I put my hands on his shoulders and walked him back to the bedroom and tucked him in again.